normal teenagers: has sex, does drugs, parties
parents: don't do it again
me: doesn't do dishes
parents: YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL YOU ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART
mom: what if your future husband doesn't like your favorite band then what
me: why wouldn't he like his own music mom
at a party: can i have your wi-fi code?
I love showing tricks to little kids.
They’re all like: “How did you do that?” And you’re just like:
Friend: Why don't you have a boyfriend?
Me: Because I'm a hot pot of rice who don't need no side dish.
The only time I've ever won a race